A great friend...

Well here we are and I have been wanting to post this one for a long time. This is a wonderful woman I know. I have to say she is one of the closest friends I have ever had. I can tell her anything, well almost. I have known her now for awhile now and the more I learn about her the more I wish I could be with her. It just doesn't seem to be in the cards as they say. I date and meet people all the time and go out on random dates here and there, but none of them make me feel remotely like she does with just a simple giggle. She lights up my life in a way that very few ever have, and I am blessed to know her. Perhaps someday I will have a chance to be more to her. Only time will tell. I know I will be here for her whenever she needs me.

Crazy Dreams...

It has been every night for the past four nights I have dreamed or her... A woman who doesn't exist, but is everything I could ever desire. A mousy brunette with deep brown eyes and glasses. A woman with a sweet and loving heart. She has a quirky sense of humor, and a passion and flair for life than I have never encountered

It all started with the dream of meeting her. I met her online as I do many people. We started chatting and found we had a lot in common. After chatting with her on the phone for about a week, we decided to meet. We ended up at Victoria's midnight Cafe'. We shared a few cups of chai talked and laughed. My only thought was what is this wonderful woman doing with me. Then I woke up from the dream. It did hurt me that the dream had ended and I had hoped it was real.

The second dream came to me that next evening, and I met her at the movies. We went to see some random anime. It was your standard action/romance/comedy that the Japanese tend to come up with.(No; I don't know which one I didn't even recognize it) We enjoyed the film and ended up at Shoku. Again everything was going well and I drove her home and walked her to her door and that moment came, you know the one where you don't know if the kiss is going to come and you both are waiting, longing for it to happen but scared to make that first move, and then there it was... A perfect kiss. Soft gentle, passionate. It sent a shot of electricity through our whole bodies. Walking back to my car drunk in the moment. I get into my car and then then again I awake to the alarm in my ear.

By this time I was really hoping this wasn't me, falling into fantasy. I really was getting used to having someone, even if it was only in my dreams. How was I to know the dreams would continue a third night. This time I just went to her place to watch a few movies she wanted to share with me. We popped popcorn together (Not that microwave crap) and she was wearing just so comfortable sweats and we watched the movies all night and talked about them after. While cuddling close and stealing a kiss now and again. This dream ended with us falling asleep on the couch holding her in my arms.

Last night was now the fourth dream I have had about this woman... You know the one who doesn't exist *Sigh. This one started with me inviting her to a cookout I was having at my home. (strangely my home was my childhood home.) There were many people there. My closest circle of friends, even my friends who live in Illinois and Indiana were there. She was the vision of class that day. Everyone loved her and she stayed with me the whole day. As the night wore on and everyone was leaving, she was tired and decided to take a shower. I said that was a good idea and I headed to the other bathroom so I could get cleaned up as well. I finished first and headed into my bedroom to lay down a moment until she finished. I actually dozed off and awoke to her wearing only her bra and panties curling up next to me on my bed. To say the least I was shocked and jumped up and asked what she was doing. She said she just wanted me to hold her and she was too tired to go home. So I held her till I awoke again from the dream by the alarm clock. I felt alone and missing her this morning.

To feel such contentment and love and then awaken to find it was just a cruel joke of the mind is so hard for me. I long for everything this woman embodies. I know she is out there somewhere. I hope. A friend mentioned that I might get obsessive over this dream. I say to that I have always been thrown away by those whom claim they would always love me. I have had so many of my other dreams come true. I have met many famous people I have been in a few bands, and I have some wonderful and caring friends So it is one of the greatest desires I have left. I have ached to find the one who is my "Dearest Beloved" and only found broken hearts and broken promises.

If these dreams continue I will add new posts to update my pathetic but happy dream life.

Rant about Whatever...

I guess it is fair to say I am the eternal friend. I want to be the desired man, the one who is thought of more than just a good friend. . Every woman loves me but not in the "romantic" way. They always tell me I will find someone but It always seems to be "just friends" Please don't misunderstand me I love making friends but when you are surrounded by married
couples who are so happy and in love, and also beautiful women who are only your friends I feel alone. Maybe it is utter nonsense, maybe I am just someone who is meant to only have friends.To be blunt I am not sure. I hope not because after my best friends wedding my heart burns for a love like what they share. Someone to share my secrets (although there are not many), my dreams,,
my passion, my crazy random thoughts and most of all my soul.

I go home everynight after work and spend it my cats watching tv and surfing the web. I am not only a homebody though on the weekends I tend to be out somewhere either shopping, hanging out with friends,or maybe even a club or bar. Sadly you really can't meet someone at a bar. I have tried and it is usually a mess. Some say meet a good girl at church. I say NO they are the ones who tend to cause the most drama and heartache in my life. I may be wrong but experience tells me I am right.

I have one more little rant before I let this go. okcupid users. If I take the time to message you and we have a lthings in common, message me back... I hate taking the time to send a message trying to come up with something original to say and then not get a response. I don't use crude language
like the guys every one of you love to complain about. I want a conversation. I know this whole rant hasbeen about being the eternal friend but I do still like to make new ones...

I guess this is just a rant about nothing that no one could possibly care about... it is what it is...Take it as such and one final thought "PANTS!"

WTF is Pre Ex Girlfriend...

This will be a photo blog of girls I see that I take pictures of who won't give me the time of day. Fun huh? I thought so... SO =P